What Grad School Has Taught Me

1. Do your workout in the morning. It's highly unlikely you will do anything when you get home at 9:30pm, except maybe drink.



2. School is like work, except you already have a job. So really, it's like you have two jobs, only you have to pay for one.



3. Thesis isn't a scary word. Dissertation is.



4. If you think two classes a semester is a good idea, think again.



5. No matter how much time you think you have, it's never enough.



6. "I'll just do my homework on the weekend" is not a good study plan. Nor is, "I'll just have a few drinks with friends and then write that critical paper on Wolff." Not that I have done this, nope.



7. On that note, if your assignment isn't done by Sunday at 11pm, you might as well forget it. Seriously, just go the fuck to bed already--you have to be up at 6am to get a run in.



8. Only boring people sit down to eat. All the cool kids eat while doing at least two other things--it's called multitasking. And forget about balanced nutrition; vending machines will save your ass. Also, four words: Royal Farms Veggie Sub



9. Gas might cost $3.50 a gallon, but public transportation still isn't affordable in comparison.



10. Forget about having a life. Don't even bother. Grad school will eat your life whole and poop it out when you least expect it, and it won't be pretty. Wear rubber pants.